Contemplating Wedding Attire

As I was thinking about the wedding I need to find a dress for tonight, my mind wandered into the territory of weddings I've been in.  I have been in four, and despite the way Hollywood frequently shows women having to wear horrendous frocks as bridesmaids, I have not had to wear one that I didn't like.  I would have actually have liked to have worn all of them at least once again.  Unfortunately, I did not manage to wear more than one again before I gained too much weight to fit into it again.

I do not know if my good wedding attire run has to do with luck or with friends with really good taste.  Or maybe Hollywood over-blows the whole "horrendous dress" stereotype (highly possible).  I cannot really think of any bridesmaids dresses at any wedding I've been to that were horrendous, but it's entirely possible I've forgotten.  After all, I was there to see the bride and groom, not their wedding party (plus I haven't taken pictures at every wedding I've been to).

I happen to have a few of the dresses I've worn as a bridesmaid on my hard drive, so I thought I'd share.

Dress 1, 1996

It's not obvious form the picture because of my friend's hand, but it has an empire waistline.  That little bit of white you see on the sleeve is actually a rhinestone button embellishment.  It was either tea length or floor length and my favorite color.  I loved this dress.  I also love the bride's dress.  Yeah, she has good taste.  :)

Dress 2, 1996

I thought I had a picture of this one on my computer, but I cannot find it.  Maybe I'll have to find the hard copy and scan it later.  Oh, well.  It was a Christmas wedding, and the dress was dark green velvet with a matching satin bow on the back.  It was very basic, with a tea length skirt.  It was simple and elegant.

Dress 3, 1997

I do not have a picture of this one on my computer, but it was a floor-length black dress with a white v-shaped "collar" that went down to the navel and white lace over black fabric between the edges of the collar.  It was the one dress I wore for a fancy date night with my then-boyfriend, now husband, in 1998.  

Dress 4, 2003

This one all the bridesmaids got to vote on.  We went for something simple, and we chose this dress partly because it had an accompanying maternity version, and I was trying to get pregnant.  It was a basic dress in navy blue, and it was floor-length.  That's my mom with me in the picture.  (I had to crop out my hubby.  He's internet shy.)

So, was I extremely lucky, or have other people managed to never get a bridesmaid's dress they don't like?  If you've had some horrible ones, what was so horrible about them?

It's a Small World...

Apparently I wrote this in June but never posted it.  Well, better late than never!  LOL.

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I touched on this topic briefly in a previous post, "Chance Run-ins," but I always am amazed at the little coincidences that show me what a small world this big world is.  On my daughter's 8th birthday, there was more than one incidence that brought this to my mind.

The first incident was that I was talking to one of my Girl Scout co-leaders, and she mentioned that she used to work at the breast-feeding store that was close to our old house in another suburb, though still on this general side of town.  I used to go to this store when my daughter was a baby.  I only actually bought stuff a couple times, but I frequently went in to use the scale to weigh my daughter.  This was at the same time my co-leader worked there.  Not only that, but the mother of one of my daughter's classmates worked there at the same time, and I sort of remember someone fitting her description working there.

The second thing was a run-in at a restaurant.  Early in the day we were at the mall for my daughter to get her ears pierced.  A mother and her two daughters stopped to watch.  When we went to Black Angus for dinner, the same family was sitting a couple tables away from us.  They saw us returning from the bathroom and after both of our tables got birthday songs sung at them, the mother came over to ask if my daughter was the same girl she saw at the mall and to tell her how brave she was.  When we left the restaurant, we discovered we were parked next to one another--crazy, isn't it?

Whenever I discover these kinds of coincidences, I have to wonder if they mean something or if they truly are just coincidence.  After dinner, I couldn't help thinking back to other crazy coincidences in my life such as seeing a former classmate from Minnesota in a Florida airport or running into friends who lived near us at a mall an hour away from the house or meeting a girl in college who stayed at the same hotel in St. Thomas, VI, as I did approximately the same year as I went there.  It truly is amazing that in such a big world, we can have these sort of things happening.

What about you?  Have you ever had "small world" moments that made you wonder what it all means?

Thankfulness

A lot of people on Facebook are doing 30 days of thankfulness.  I like that idea, but I don’t have the dedication to list a different item every day.  So, I’m making a list (in no particular order) here.

1.  My husband.  As with all humans, he’s not perfect, but he’s a wonderful father and an all-around awesome partner.  Honestly, he is my rock. 
2.  My children.  I have two beautiful children who give me joy every day.  Even when they are driving me insane. My parents.  Both have taught me much in life. 
3. Food.  Yep, that’s basic.  However, there are people who have a hard time being able to afford food, and that makes me sad.  So, even though it may not always be prepared as well as I’d like (and it’s usually me who screws it up), I am VERY thankful we always have food on our table.
4. My husband’s job.  Without his job that allows us to afford everything we have and allows me to stay home, our life would not be as good as it is. 
5. Our home.  It’s just the size we wanted, and we could afford it.  I’m so glad we have a nice place to raise our children in.
6. Other family and friends.  I have a very diverse group of people in my life.  Each one has added something to my life.  They challenge me intellectually, support me when I’m down, and in general are all nice to have around, even when we don’t agree.
7. My Girl Scout Troop and Co-leaders.  I never planned to be a troop leader, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I wound up with three of the most amazing co-leaders a person could ask for.  We all work hard to make our troop fun and educational.  I’m grateful that they are in my life.
8. Creativity.  I’m not the best at everything I want to work on artistically, but I enjoy being creative immensely.  Painting, sketching, writing, etc., all keep me sane in an insane world.
9. Freedom.  Living in the United States, I’m entitled to have my own opinions and to express them (preferably in a kind way, though sometimes I do fail to do that—I’m working on that one).
10. Nature.  I always feel better when I can get outside and enjoy the greenery.  Flowers, trees, animals.  They are all wonders to behold.  (Yeah, it’s a cliché, but it’s true!)
11. Health.  I’m thankful that, for the most part, my family and I are healthy.  Yeah, we get our share of those bugs that go around, but overall, we’re doing pretty well.
12. Chocolate.  I’m an addict.  I admit it.  I just love the taste of rich, dark chocolate slowly melting on my tongue.  It’s not life changing, but it is very, very nice.
13.  Arizona’s Open Enrollment Policy.  This allows a child to go to any public school that has room, though parents may need to provide the transportation.  When your gifted child is supposed to go to one of the worst schools in the area (especially when your state is not known for great schools), having some choice means a lot.  Because of this law, she is in a great program suited to her needs.
14. Books.  I love them.  My house is full of them.  They take me to other places, times, universes.  They feed my imagination and my curiosity.
15. Movies.  Ditto what I said about books.
16. Rainbows.  They’re pretty.  They feel optimistic. 
17. Being ticklish.  Most people probably think I’m weird for saying that, and that’s okay.  I think it’s really fun to have a giggle fest that started as a tickle fight.

I had hoped to have at least 30 by now, but with my family, doctor's appointments, and Girl Scouts, I'm afraid that's as far as I got.  Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Just Call Me "Parent"

Every stay-at-home parent probably has at least one person in his or her life who at times questions how much "work" the parent actually does.  Usually, this is in the form of "why isn't the house more clean?" or "why can't you _____?  I'm at work all day."  I think the main problem with these people is that they focus on the "at-home" part of the "job title."  In the future, I am going to tell these people they need to change their thinking because I am at work all day, and my job is:  PARENT. 

You see, when I am parenting all day long, my primary responsibility is the kids.  I spend much of my time reading to them, cuddling them, kissing boo-boos, feeding (cooking) them, helping with homework, tucking them in to sleep, and just being there.  I am meeting my kids' emotional needs, which sometimes simply means I do something quietly (reading, watching TV) in the room while they play--because they wants and need to feel my presence.  Of course, this applies more to my toddler son who cannot understand when I tell him I have to clean or do other things around the house the way my school-age daughter can.  This means that while I may look like I'm doing "nothing" when I could be cleaning the kitchen, I am not doing nothing--I am meeting my child's needs.  

Pretty much anything else I get done during a given day is secondary and, if you will, a "plus."  If I also manage to get the dishes done and the bathroom clean, I am ahead of the game.  If I get the toys picked up and put away, I am ahead of the game.  If I take the garbage out or vacuum the living room, I am ahead of the game.  You see where I'm going with this? 

And as long as we're on the subject, I need to point out how incredibly emotionally draining it is to try to keep up with a young child all day, especially on "cranky" days when your child demands more patience than you know where to find within yourself.  So, before you shout "nap time" as a time when I "should" be catching up on all that cleaning, please at least allow that I get some time to regain my sanity.  Sometimes that means napping myself.  Other times, it means a little "Mommy TV" time or time to paint or time to write or time to catch up with email or browse Facebook or Pinterest.  Anything that keeps me sane makes me a better parent when nap time is over, and "parent" is, after all, my primary job.

Getting Organized

Organization is one of the things I struggle with CONSTANTLY.  I'm bad during normal times, but over the last three years, it has gotten WAY out of hand, and I've decided it must stop.  To be fair to myself, I had my hands quite full.  It's hard to do much when you're exhausted, and with pregnancy (with 8 mos. of nausea), nursing, thyroid issues, a burst eardrum, toothaches, diapering, Tink's school and friend activities, and everything else, it was really hard for me to eke out time to do much other than the "musts"--dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.  However, things are settling down (and Pinterest is making me itch to do household stuff), so IT IS TIME.


Over the past few weeks, I've been gradually working on the organization process.  I've made more room in the hall closet (simply by organizing what was there), which is allowing me to put some things that were shoved in the guest/craft room away.  I've got a new sewing box (thanks, Mom!) and a wrapping paper box, both of which have helped with organizing the craft room.  I'm starting to pare down some of Ace's baby toys to give to a friend with a baby.  I've got 3 boxes ready to donate to Goodwill.  I will get the Christmas decorations down this coming weekend.  And, most important of all, I have to have the entire downstairs organized enough to host my Girl Scout troop at the end of the month, so I WILL CONTINUE until I get it done.  Then I will move onto the master bedroom (you don't even want to know) and the garage (a no-man's land if ever I saw one).


Of course, once everything is done, the key is to figure how to get my family to help me keep it going.  That's going to be a challenge!


Now, if any of you out there have some organizational ideas, I'd love to hear them.  Nothing inspires me to organize like good ideas on how to do it!

Before You Decide You Hate Twilight, Maybe You Should Read the Books

This post has brewing in my mind for some time, but it's taken me a while to organize my thoughts in order to commit them to print.  I often see people posting negative things about Twlight, and I wonder "Have they actually read the books?"  Based on their posts, I'd say many of them haven't because a lot of what's posted isn't really accurate.  Some of them are funny, and maybe that's why they're being posted, but honestly, I think Twilight's getting a bad rap from people who may not even have read the books, and I find that very frustrating.  After all, is it really fair to judge the series based on the movies alone (they came second; hence, they are NOT the definitive for the series) or, worse, on hearsay?  


If you've read the books, you can say whatever you want about them, and I'll back your right to do so.  And there ARE some legitimate things in the books to criticize (Meyer's writing style has some flaws; there are themes that parents of impressionable teens may find objectionable; etc.), but rarely do I find people actually attacking those elements; usually I see them attacking the full series with vague and sometimes inaccurate blanket statements.   


The Movies


Like all movies made from books, the movies leave out A LOT.  They also change some things.  You simply cannot fit a rather long book into two hours of screen time and include the same amount of detail.  If you've seen one or more of the movies and did not like them, it is certainly fair to say you didn't like the movies.  If you don't really care for vampire stories or for "nice" vampires (in other words, you like them vicious), it's certainly fair of you to say you're not interested in the Twilight subject matter.  If you think it's silly that they sparkle (and even I think it is), you are certainly free to say so.  However, it doesn't really make you qualified to say that the books suck or to compare the four books to a movie you saw when you haven't READ the books.


"Twilight is JUST about having a boyfriend" (or some variation thereof)


Whenever I see this, I know that a person is not familiar with all four books, or if they did read them, they weren't reading very closely.  Yes, Twilight is primarily a love story, but there ARE other themes, and those themes are less apparent in the first book than in the later books (more on those themes later), so if you've only read the first book, you may not see this that easily.  


This statement makes it sound very much like all Bella cares about in life is having a boyfriend (as if any boy will do)--not true.  Bella is the new girl in town.  She's trying to figure out where she fits in.  Because it's such a small town, a large number of boys are automatically attracted to her and want to date her because she's different from the girls they've known since they were tots.  She doesn't want any of them.  However, when she sees Edward, she's drawn to him because he seems different from other boys, but mostly, she's just concerned because he seems to take an instant dislike to her.  (How many high school kids do you know that are not extremely upset when someone seems to hate them for no apparent reason?)   When Edward leaves in the second book, if Bella were so obsessed with having any boyfriend, why did she not start dating Jacob?  She hangs around with him, sure, but when he shows that he wants more than friendship, she doesn't want that.  She doesn't care about "having a boyfriend;" she cares about Edward because she loves him.


As to the other themes, one example would be the theme of what it means to be different.  Bella is different to the people of Forks because she's new and from a large city in the desert (Phoenix)--she's experienced many things other people in Forks never have and possibly never will.  To Edward, she's different because he cannot read her mind as he can other humans.  The Cullens are different from the people of Forks, though most people don't understand why.  Bella is the only one so intrigued that she feels a need to find out.  The Cullens are different from other vampires in that they don't feed on humans.  This difference leads the vampire hierarchy, based in Italy, to seek reasons to destroy the entire Cullen clan (one of the sources of conflict in books 2-4).  


In a smaller sense, there is a theme of good versus evil in the conflicts between the "good" vampires (the Cullens) and all of the other vampires of the world (the traveling vampires including Victoria and the Italian vampires).  There are also good vs. evil elements in the wolves versus the vampires.  Meyer shows the struggle of the young wolves to accept the truce their elders have established with the Cullens in light of their innate desire to hunt and destroy all vampires; they have trouble believing there can be good vampires and see all vampires as evil.  


Comparisons of Bella to Hermione Granger and Other Fictional Women Who Have Been Separated from the One They Love


While I laughed at this (and perhaps even shared it on Facebook), I have to say this isn't really a fair comparison because it totally leaves out anything about circumstance.  Before I get into my arguments, know that I am a far bigger fan of Harry Potter than I am of Twilight.  However, to compare Bella's reaction to Edward who just last week said he loves her telling her he doesn't want her anymore and leaving town to Hermione's reaction to Ron's abandoning her and Harry in the middle of their quest against Voldemort is not a comparison of truly similar circumstances.  Why?  1)  Hermione and Ron have never declared themselves to be in love at this point.  They've never kissed.  They've never even gone on a date.  Bella and Edward, however, have declared their love for one another.  They've kissed.  2)  Ron doesn't say he doesn't want to be with Hermione, he just can't take the way the quest is going.  Hermione understands that he's not rejecting her personally.  However, Edward does make the rejection personal (even though he's really doing it for her protection).  3)  Bella is in a small town with very little to do.  Her ONLY purpose at the moment is to get through High School, and she has very little else in her life to keep her busy.  She doesn't have close friends there, really, though she does try to hang with the girls some during this period.  She doesn't have school clubs or other activities (at least until she starts her bike project with Jacob) to help take her mind off things.  Hermione, on the other hand, has a very important purpose to her life--stopping Voldemort.  She knows she doesn't have time to wallow in misery.  She can wallow later if she must, but for now, she has to push that aside.  


As for the Princess Leia comparison, puh-leaze.  Leia knew Han still loved her.  She went and rescued him.  When Alice comes to tell a wallowing Bella that Edward is going to get the Italian vampires to kill him because he really still loves her, Bella jumps right onto that plane and goes to rescue him.  So, how exactly is that different?  (And again, I love Star Wars more than I love Twilight, though I am still ticked with Lucas about several things in the prequel, but that's not relevant to this conversation.)


I'm not going to go into each of the other women that are sometimes shown in relation to this argument, but I think it suffices to say, that most of these ladies are not in the same exact circumstances, and circumstances DO have a way of changing how you react to something.


The Story of the People and Their Emotions


The portrayal of the characters and their emotions is what kept me coming back as each book moved on.  I like Bella.  She is actually a very strong character--the strength of will it took her to not show her pain as she transformed into a vampire was immense.  She's stubborn and fiery.  And even though she sulks through a good part of New Moon, I see that as a very human thing to do--I can't tell you how many people I know who are otherwise really strong people who had at least one break-up that left them sulking for months.  And in the end, they were stronger for having been through it.


The sexual tension between Bella and Edward is palpable.  I can't help but love Edward and, to some extent, Jacob.  I see good in both men, though I think she ultimately belongs with Edward.  Edward frequently says exactly the right thing, which makes him a little like a fairy tale prince.  We know no one can possibly be that noble and perfect, but we still find it attractive.  Jacob is a moody, sulky teenager, but he's still kind and caring and good, and we love that, too.


There is emotional conflict within the story as Edward tries to come to terms with Bella's desire to become a vampire and as Bella fights Edward's insistence that they marry before they become intimate and before she becomes a vampire.  There is conflict in that Bella loves Jacob as a brother while he loves her in a romantic way, and Jacob has to learn to accept that it's different for her.  I could say more, but if you're really interested in the emotional range of the books, I think you ought to read them.


And a Short Note on The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner


I really enjoyed this short book--those who enjoy violent vampires might find it a bit more interesting than the actual Twilight series; knowledge of Eclipse (the movie would probably suffice) will make it easier to understand.  It's about one vampire in a group of vampires created to attack the Cullens at the end of the third book of the Twilight series.  It goes into some interesting details about being a new vampire and living among a group of violent vampires who often fight among one another.  For those who loved the other books, it gives insight into Victoria's plan for the attack and how it all came about.