Just Call Me "Parent"

Every stay-at-home parent probably has at least one person in his or her life who at times questions how much "work" the parent actually does.  Usually, this is in the form of "why isn't the house more clean?" or "why can't you _____?  I'm at work all day."  I think the main problem with these people is that they focus on the "at-home" part of the "job title."  In the future, I am going to tell these people they need to change their thinking because I am at work all day, and my job is:  PARENT. 

You see, when I am parenting all day long, my primary responsibility is the kids.  I spend much of my time reading to them, cuddling them, kissing boo-boos, feeding (cooking) them, helping with homework, tucking them in to sleep, and just being there.  I am meeting my kids' emotional needs, which sometimes simply means I do something quietly (reading, watching TV) in the room while they play--because they wants and need to feel my presence.  Of course, this applies more to my toddler son who cannot understand when I tell him I have to clean or do other things around the house the way my school-age daughter can.  This means that while I may look like I'm doing "nothing" when I could be cleaning the kitchen, I am not doing nothing--I am meeting my child's needs.  

Pretty much anything else I get done during a given day is secondary and, if you will, a "plus."  If I also manage to get the dishes done and the bathroom clean, I am ahead of the game.  If I get the toys picked up and put away, I am ahead of the game.  If I take the garbage out or vacuum the living room, I am ahead of the game.  You see where I'm going with this? 

And as long as we're on the subject, I need to point out how incredibly emotionally draining it is to try to keep up with a young child all day, especially on "cranky" days when your child demands more patience than you know where to find within yourself.  So, before you shout "nap time" as a time when I "should" be catching up on all that cleaning, please at least allow that I get some time to regain my sanity.  Sometimes that means napping myself.  Other times, it means a little "Mommy TV" time or time to paint or time to write or time to catch up with email or browse Facebook or Pinterest.  Anything that keeps me sane makes me a better parent when nap time is over, and "parent" is, after all, my primary job.