One Powerful Blog Message

I read this blog today, and if you look at my other blogs, I rarely link to other content.  This one HAS to be shared.  It's so powerful and poignant.  It's a message of love.  And we so need to spread love right now.  It seems everywhere I look, people are spreading hate.  The media.  Political candidates.  People commenting on anything on the Net.  We need to be spreading love.  Because, honestly, hate eats you up.  Hate is corrosive.  But love, love is healing.  Sometimes you don't even realize how healing because people rarely think to tell you.  Sometimes a simple "hello" can brighten someone's day in ways you will never realize.  


So, read the link blogged.  Then read it's follow-up to see how it's already changed things in some people's lives.  And think about what you do and how it affects others.  Because even the small things can make a difference--good or bad.

"Instruction" Manual?

Has anyone else noticed that what passes for an “instruction” manual lately is sorely lacking? 

For example, I recently changed banks, and I received an email telling me that to find a recent transaction, I should go to the “History” section from the home screen.  The thing is the word “History” appears NOWHERE on the home screen.  And the only drop down menu that has the word in it does not bring you to the type of transaction I was looking for.  I complained to the website about this, and they sent back the same instructions!  After fiddling around, I discovered that if you click on your BALANCE, you get brought to the history screen.  Now, why couldn’t they just tell me to click on my balance?  Why are they telling me to click on “History” when the word does not appear there (not even when you mouse over the balance)?  WTH kind of instructions are these?


I have similar feelings about my “manual” for my new cell phone.  First, I should tell you, no manual came with the cell phone, and the workings are only somewhat intuitive.  I had to use Google in order to download a manual, and I have mixed feelings on that.  On the one hand, I think that a product ought to come with a decent set of instructions on how to use it (and the pared down instructions with my phone were rather lacking), and on the other hand, I applaud that they saved paper (and money for printing, which savings one hopes they passed on to the consumer, but who knows?) by not printing it.  However, this manual tends to skip steps.  It tells you “navigate to ______ and go to the settings” but does not tell you how to get to settings on that part of the phone.  Turns out there is a button that will bring up the “settings” option, but if you don’t know what that button’s for, you aren’t going to know that’s what you need to press.  Sure, it might tell you elsewhere in the manual, but with a 100+ page manual, you aren’t reading cover to cover—you’re searching for your topic.  


Granted, I know that instruction manuals are difficult to write.  I wrote one for one of my jobs and helped update the one at another job.  Frequently as I was trying to use the first draft (or second or third), I found that the instructions skipped a step.  Once I realized this, I would, of course, go to the manual and update it.  But I rather doubt most companies take the time to actually try to use their manuals before publishing.  Perhaps the makers of products need to start employing “manual” testers who can help them make sure EVERYONE can understand, not just the people who were involved in developing the item in question.

Stephen Colbert DESTROYS GOP's "class warfare" argument!

Check this out:  Stephen Colbert DESTROYS GOP's "Class Warfare" Argument, as transcribed by the Daily Kos (includes the video).

Most Americans agree--the rich need to pay their share.  The middle class and the poor are hurting as it is.

I think Elizabeth Warren said it quite well, as quoted in her picture at Moveon.org.

Chance Run-ins

I find it interesting to note the frequency with which I run into certain people.  The Phoenix metro area has a large population (over 4 million, which includes two counties).  Even if we narrow it down to the suburbs where I do most of my going about, there's a significant population (nearly 500,000 people).  So, I find it funny when I keep running into someone I barely know.  She's the mom of one of Tink's friend's friends (try saying that fast).  The little girl, D., went to the same pre-school Tink did, but Tink was in the afternoon class, and D. and R. (Tink's friend from Kindergarten and 1st Grade) were in the morning class.  


When I first met D.'s mom (whose name I still can't remember), Tink and I were at R.'s joint birthday party with D.  She said I looked familiar, and I had just learned that the girls all went to the same preschool, so I said it must have been the trip to the zoo with the preschool she was remembering me from since both classes went at the same time.  


Fast forward one year, and I'm shopping at Walmart with my toddler boy.  I see D.'s mom, but can't remember who she is.  She sees me and I see a light of recognition in her eyes.  We pass and say hello, but I'm past her before I remember where I've met her.  I don't know if she ever realized where she knew me from.  


After that we saw one another briefly at another of R.'s birthday parties.  We didn't talk much, and we didn't talk about the Walmart run-in.  Today I was at Sprouts buying fruit, and who is two people ahead of me in line?  D.'s mom.  She saw me as she was getting her bags to leave and smiled.  I smiled back.  


I sometimes wonder at the fact that I keep seeing D.'s mom and not any of her friends' moms.  It's kind of funny that we keep seeing one another on our daily errands, isn't it?  I wonder if maybe one day we're actually meant to start up a conversation and become friends.  Who knows?  I mean, I don't run into other people more than once in the course of a year.  If I run into them, it's maybe once every five years (this isn't counting planned meetings).  I guess only time will tell if it means something or if it's just an odd coincidence.


UPDATE (January 2012):  In October, I met this mother at another (L.'s) birthday party.  We got to talking about how funny it is that we keep running into one another.  It was also funny that this party was for a girl at my daughter's school who went to D.'s school the year before.  When D. found out that L. was going to the same new school that R. was moving to, she told L. to seek R. out to become friends.  Since my daughter and R. were friends and my daughter and L. were in the same class, L. and my daughter became good friends, too.

My Barnes and Noble Saga

Once upon a time, earlier this year, I went into a Barnes and Noble store with my daughter because I couldn't find a book at Borders.  While there, I was told about the kids club, so I signed up on-line.  In doing so, I created an account for myself, and started receiving emails with coupon codes for my first order at BN.com.  I ignored these emails at first, as it wasn't worth it when I'd have to pay shipping and most books I can buy cheaper on-line at Amazon.


Last week, a coupon came that made me think I hit the jackpot.  "Save 70% on your first order" it said.  It also had a lot of restrictions:  certain things you couldn't buy; it couldn't be from a third-party seller (duh), etc. You had to sign in using the email address where you got the discount code (easy enough--that's my account).  I read all the fine print closely, and then started looking for stuff I wanted.  The first several things didn't work, and I thought it might be because BN.com offered them at discounted prices rather than list prices (even though this was NOT in the exclusions list).  I found a few items that did not have a "Buy at BN.com" option, so I passed them by as being from a third party.  Finally, I found a paperback book at list price with the "Buy at BN.com" option.  I clicked the "Add to Bag" button next to "Buy at BN.com" and added the coupon code.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  I tried several other list price items.  Again, nothing.  So I contacted Customer Service (CS) on Sunday June 12th.


Email 1  (copied directly from my email string, though I re-formatted it so it would look nice):


I received coupon code H8X4L4XXAHQ via email late last night. It says it is good until June 19th, but NOTHING I try to put in my cart qualifies for it. At first I could only find books that are on sale, and they didn't work. I tried several books at regular price, and still nothing works. I did not see any products as having been marked "products marked as not eligible for "coupons or promotional discounts" (one of the disqualifications), but then I wasn't sure where to look, either. Please help me figure out what I can buy with this coupon. Thank you. Corinne Yee 


On Monday, June 13th, I received the following (formatted and with the CSR's name XXX'd out but otherwise un-altered)--Email 2:  


Dear Corinne Yee,


Thank you for writing to us. We apologize for the difficulties you are experiencing. 
We are eager to resolve your problem, but require more information.  Please respond to this email with the item you wish to purchase with your coupon.
Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this may cause and we thank you for your patience.
Sincerely,


XXXXX
Customer Service Representative
Barnes & Noble
http://www.bn.com/


So, I wrote back the same day (June 13th)--Email 3:


I have not yet decided what item I wish to purchase, but if you need an example item, some of the items I tried were "Trace Fever" by Lori Foster and "Just Like Heaven" by Julia Quinn. Again, I am not saying I am going to purchase these particular items, but they are ones I tried just to try to see what the coupon would work on.
Thank you,
Corinne Yee


I never received a reply from them.  I checked my junk mail before deleting it in case anything went there, but then I always do that.  I did not receive a reply the next day.  Or the day after.  Knowing I was frustrated, my sweet husband went looking on the forums and found that many people were having trouble with this coupon code.  He said a few people got it to work by following the link directly from the email before logging in.  I tried that.  Didn't work.  He also said that people were complaining about non-response from CS on this issue.  Well, at least I knew I wasn't the only one who had THAT problem.  I tried off and on all week.  The expiration date came and went (June 19th).  Late in the evening I got really ticked off, so I decided to complain where they might find it hard to ignore--on social media.  I tweeted them and posted on their FB page.  They both said about the same thing, but this is my FB post:  "Why is it B&N sends out e-coupons to use on-line and when they don't work, you never hear back from customer service in time to use them?"


The next morning, I got replies to both.  I got a person's direct email address on my FB post and I got the 800 number via Twitter.  Well, I hate calling 800 numbers and being on hold for ages.  And since a non-working code is more likely a technical issue, it is going to take some time to deal with.  I have two kids--I can't stay on hold all day.  So, I forwarded my entire email string (including my last reply) to the CSR who answered my FB post with this preface (Monday, June 20th)--Email 4:  


Hi,


I complained on Facebook about not having received resolution to a coupon problem before it expired and was told to send it to you. It expired yesterday, but as you can see from the attached below, I tried to get it resolved last Monday, long before it expired. I never heard back after the attached email. There are people complaining about THIS coupon code and non-response from B&N all over the Internet forums. You guys are getting a really bad reputation from this. I've highlighted a few of the pieces of information you will probably find important to  resolving the issue. 
Corinne


I received this very long reply, which includes the terms and conditions, which I'd read and knew and a claim that they had sent a reply to the previous string with a FALSE explanation for why the code isn't working (see my reply to them as to why it is false).  Nothing makes me more ticked than a CSR telling me something that I know is NOT true.  I'm going to only post the part pertaining to my complaint as I'm sure those reading this blog do not care to read the entire terms and conditions of the coupon code--Email 5:


Hi Corinne,
We have responded to your email on 06/14/2011 advising that the terms and conditions of this promotion indicate that this coupon cannot be applied to purchases made from third parties accessible from the bn.com  website (e.g., used books, PC and video games, etc.). We reviewed the examples that you have provided and it fell under this category at the time. 
We regret any inconvenience this matter may have caused you. Please let us know what item you would like to order so we may see if it qualified for this promotion. Also provide us the email address this promotion was sent to.
Please see below details and restrictions for the coupon that you have...
Sincerely,

XXX
Customer Service Representative
Barnes & Noble
http://www.bn.com/


My very upset reply, also on June 20th--Email 6:


First, I never received an email from B&N on 6/14.  I check my junk mail for such emails routinely, and pay even more close attention when I am expecting something that could come into my Junk mailbox.

Secondly, BOTH those books on the date I tried them had "Buy from BN.com" on their listing.  I clicked the "add to bag" right next to that wording.  If they are not being sold by BN.com, then why do they say they are?  How is a customer supposed to find anything that relates to the coupon when things are mislabeled, if that's what this case is:  http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Trace-of-Fever/Lori-Foster/e/9780373775750/?cds2Pid=17029 and http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Just-Like-Heaven/Julia-Quinn/e/9780061491900/?cds2Pid=17029.  Again, this is EXACTLY what the listing looked like on the date I tried it.  I also tried at least a dozen other items with the "Buy from BN.com" designation on them.  NONE OF THEM WORKED.  So, I'm asking ONCE AGAIN, give me an example of an item for which the coupon does work.

The promotion was sent to this email address, which IS my login email address, and I DID login before trying the coupon.  It says it is for my FIRST order, and this would be my FIRST order.  Again, the coupon has expired, so now I can't use it now.  I'm very irritated about this, as are other people who have had problems with your coupon codes.  For example from YOUR website:  http://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Help-Book-Clubs-My-B-N/coupon-code-not-working/td-p/629607.  

Corinne Yee

Of course, it is now late in the day on June 21st, and I have not heard back on this.  I doubt I will.  If I do, I will post it.  I bet if I try again later this week, they'll claim they wrote me back today.   Bottom line:  their customer service stinks.  I'm sure you have your own customer service horror stories.  I have more for other companies (Qwest stories immediately come to mind).  I really don't understand why companies don't have better customer service.  That's their front line with the customer, and they should strive to make it as good as possible so customers will continue to come back.  As for me, unless they get this code working and extend the deadline for me, I will not order anything from BN.com (ever).  I will continue to shop Amazon and Borders (brick and mortar).  At least Borders sends me coupons I can use in the store OR on-line, so I've never had this kind of issue with them.  

Thank you for reading.

UPDATE 6/24/11:  I started following Catherine Coulter on Twitter, and she noticed a mistake in my Tweet (which she had a question about), which set up a dialog being tweeted at BNBuzz (B&N) as well.  So, I got a new person to forward the string of emails to.  We shall see what happens.

Again, 6/24/11:  I received a reply from my Twitter email--Email 7:

Corinne,

Thank you for your email regarding your difficulties trying to use 
coupon code H8X4L4XXAHQ. We do apologize for that. At this point, you 
would not be able to use that promotion yourself. I will, however, 
manually apply the discount to your order; should you still wish to take
advantage of it. After you place your order, please email the order 
information(#, item purchased, etc) to XXX@barnesandnoble.com and I will
make the appropriate adjustment. Below are the details of the promo...

So, I will place an order and send the details to the very nice person who emailed this to me.  I hope all goes well.  Again, I will add updates to this blog when that happens.  

6/29/11 UPDATE:

Yesterday I was still confused about what I wanted to buy, so I sent another email just to clear up the question of whether it had to be list price even though the restrictions didn't say so.  The friendly customer service rep who has been helping me from my Twitter post said no.  So, today I posted my order and sent my order number back to him.  He has applied it and I got a confirmation email showing me my final price.  So, I am very grateful to him.

In the future, I must remember social networking is a friend to turn to when you don't get replies from CS in a timely fashion.  

Writing in my Head

How come I can always write better in my head?  I often come up with these great blog entries.  I come up with them while feeding the baby before bed, while I’m trying to relax to go to sleep, while I’m doing dishes or vacuuming.  Yet, even if I go to write them down immediately, it seems that my fingers stumble over the words as I type, and I can never remember the exact way I said it in my head.  It is soooooo frustrating, especially since what was in my head often sounded really good.  

I keep wishing someone would come up with something you could strap to your head so it would translate your brainwaves to words and type them for you while you are away from your keyboard.  Since I come up with some great story ideas and dialogue as I drift to sleep, this would help me out tons!  I’d have to make sure to password protect it, though, as I wouldn’t want other people in my house stumbling upon and reading my every thought.  And, o f course, this type of thing could be misused so it’d have to be set up with great firewalls and all.  But wouldn’t it be nice to be able to get the words you “write” in your head documented immediately?  Then you could edit (and delete what you wanted) later.

This could also help in other cases.  For example, a woman I know who got out of bed to type in the  middle of the night to write, but she didn’t want to wake her husband, so she typed with the monitor off, going by feel.  Her fingers were a few keys off—she had a heck of a time trying to make out the jumble the next day.  If she could just compose in her head and have the data stored on her computer, she'd have been all set! 

“Cheat Proof His Love” Magazine Article—Hey, What Happened to Personal Responsibility?

So, I was looking at an old Women’s Health (April 2009) that is waiting for the recycling bin, and I saw an article title on the cover:  “Cheat-Proof His Love,” and of course this ticked me off because the subliminal message is “it’s your fault if he cheats,” which is total BS.  I decided to peak at the article to see if it rang bells, and yes, I had read it before, and had the same thoughts before—that  saying that a woman can “cheat-proof” her guy’s love is just ridiculous because it’s not up to you to “prevent” your guy’s cheating.  It’s up to him to decide to stay true.

The article’s focus is on newlyweds who cheat, which apparently is a growing trend.  It goes on to say that contributing factors include the fact cheating is so prevalent in the headlines and that guys want to see if they’ve made a mistake early on (before kids are involved) and when wives are least suspicious.  It then analyzes the reasons men cheat early in marriage and how to “prevent” it.  The article talks about issues like serial monogamy leading men to think they can jump ship when the going gets tough (sometimes as a result of cohabitating as a “trial marriage” beforehand),  watching porn for the excitement (watch with him to keep him home), the Internet’s making cheating easier, a feeling of huge responsibility falling onto the man after marriage (make sure he knows he’s sexy and appreciated), stale sex (make sure you make sex a priority), and marriage not curing commitment issues (they advise not to marry such a man).

While the things they say contain some truth and have some research to back them up, the main problem I have with the article is that it doesn’t go after the real issue here:  only the person who cheats is responsible for the cheating.  For me, my husband and I talked before marriage about reasons why people might cheat (to get out of a relationship, because they’re missing something they need, etc.) and how we would work to talk out our problems before the issue became bad enough that we might be tempted to give up on us.  We talked about how we would ask to go to couples counseling if we were feeling like our need were not being met or if we were starting to feel like we might want out.

It really bothers me that our society seems to promote the idea that we are NOT personally responsible for our own actions.  I think it’s a huge problem in our society today.  That magazines have articles like this that shift the blame just appalls me.  I find myself very happy that I let my subscription to WH lapse, and I do not intend to renew while they’re publishing junk like this!

Being a Stay-at-Home Parent

I find that many people who have never done it don’t really have a realistic idea of what being a stay-at-home parent entails.  They think they know (I know I did), and in some aspects their conceptions are accurate, but there are other areas where they really have no clue.  So, I thought I would share my thoughts based on my experience as a stay-at-home mom.

First, let me tell you that being a stay-at-home mom was never something I expected in life.  My mother worked (she was divorced and had to), and I always assumed I’d work.  And frankly, I really don’t like to do housework (though baking is great).  I wasn’t sure I’d like staying at home, but we could afford it and thought it’d be the best thing for our children.  So, I tried it, and, thankfully, I loved it!  But there have been some times when it has been very trying.  Staying at home is not for everyone.  I have friends who tried it and did not like it.  However, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The Good

You set the schedule.

I am, basically, my own boss.  Yes, I have to meet the demands of my children, but until my firstborn headed to school, I always got to sleep as late as my little one would let me.  Aside from naptimes, I was able to decide when I would run errands.  I decide when to get dressed.  There is no dress code--in fact, dressing in sloppy clothes is often preferred as clothes tend to get food on them before the day is over.

Fun, fun, fun!

I get to do some REALLY fun things.  We go to the pet store or the zoo to look at the animals.  We can go shopping.  We color and do art projects.  We go for walks and go to the park.  There is much fun to be had that is also good for your kids.

Those amazing kid moments.

I get to see all the little things the kids do.  When you work, you are bound to miss some of the firsts:  words, steps, etc.  When you stay home with your kids, you get to see most of them (unless you let your spouse take over for a while when they do them).  You get to see their little personalities develop; you get to see all the funny little quirks as they develop.  You wind up with a lot of funny stories about what they said and did. 

Teaching your kids.

You get to teach your kids a ton of little things that make so much difference when they reach school age.  When reading to Tink, she would point to words and ask what they said.  Or she would ask about a certain letter, and we would talk about what sounds it made.  We would think of what other words start with that sound.  When she was eating berries and said “I had eight, but now I have seven,” we were able to start her on the road to simple addition and subtraction.  We get to play rhyming games.  We get to talk about shapes.  And best of all, she learns at her own pace.  I don’t have to pressure her.  I just have to give her opportunities.  Of course, she’s in school now and learning in a different way there, but we still take advantage of educational opportunities as they arise at home.

The Bad

Staying at home is not without its drawbacks.  And the drawbacks change somewhat depending on the age(s) of your child(ren).

First, there is the housework. 

I had imagined I would easily be able to stay on top of the housework.  However, the demands of the children make it pretty darn hard. 

First, there is the time issue.  With infants, if you nurse rather than using formula, they take anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes to feed.  And they do this about every two hours. I don’t mean they start two hours after they stopped—they start two hours after the last start time.  This means you have at most one hour and forty minutes between to do anything, and since you’re completely exhausted, you need to use at least some of this time to sleep.  I tended to try to alternate between sleeping during naps and doing some housework during naps. 

As they age, you become less exhausted, but they sleep less and move more, so you can only do housework during their nap or when you can put them somewhere that is very baby proofed AND still in eyesight.  Once they start climbing on the furniture, they need to be napping or strapped into their high chair feeding themselves in order for you to be sure they will be safe. Then they stop taking naps.  At that point, they can usually be trusted not to do too much to put themselves in danger, so you can try to get things done with them in eyesight, assuming you can get them to busy themselves for a while so you can work (I always try to avoid resorting to the TV, which always works, but it’s not good for them in large doses).  Sometimes that can require a good bit of cajoling or else ignoring of their whining and crying while you work.  Once they start going to school, you start to get on top of things again.  Of course, when I got to this point, I finally got pregnant with number two and had to start all over again.  Oh, well. 

Second, there is much more mess than you ever had before kids.  Let’s just take a look at the kitchen:  there are now baby bottles, dropped pacifiers, etc., in addition to yours and your spouse’s dishes.  As they age, there are more plates, bowls, cups, and silverware.  Plus, kids tend to drop things on the floor, so you may end up needing two or three of any of these items before the meal is finished.  After the kids eat, the table is a mess, their chair is a mess, and the floor is probably also a mess.  Factor in time to clean all of these things up three times a day.  Since you are preparing meals three times a day, you also have all those additional dishes.

And we haven’t even begun to talk about the rest of the house.  There is the extra laundry (and a lot of it since kids are messy and may need changing during the day).  There is the fact that if you pick up your toddler’s toys, he will follow behind you and pull them all out again.  If you vacuum the floor during naptime, your child is sure to find a way to track in some new dirt after naptime.  Bath time frequently ends with your wiping water off the floor and nearby walls. 

In short, don’t figure your house will be clean just because you stay at home with the kids.  Hopefully, once they get in school, your house will truly be clean again, but until then, learn to live with doing the best you can and not having a perfect house.

Toys everywhere.

The older the kids get, the more toys they have.  With a lot of diligence, you can teach them to put their toys away by the time they are three or so, but they frequently still need reminders and help with the organizational aspect from time to time.  So, no matter how you cut it, you will spend plenty of time picking up toys, tripping on toys, and trying to figure out how to store all of your kids’ toys.

Vacation?  Breaks?  Ha ha ha ha ha

You don’t get a vacation, ever.  Of course, you can have someone watch the kids for a few hours (and even as you enjoy your time away, you will miss them).  However, you can’t take, say, a week-long break from your kids--unless, of course, you have someone you trust to take care of your kids 24/7 while you’re away.  If your spouse is helpful and willing to take over for a short while when s/he gets home from work, that will give you a short break, but if your spouse has to work late, there goes that little bit of a break.  Potty breaks can also be difficult sometimes.  When they’re small enough, you can put them in a playpen or do it while they are napping, but there comes a point where your little one is into EVERYTHING and even the most baby proofed area of your house may not be safe for the time it takes you to visit the restroom.  In those instances, you have to be creative.  I have been known to set my son in the tub next to the shower where I can keep my eye on him.  Hey, whatever works, right?

Feeling Isolated and Lacking in Adult Time

Most stay at home parents I know have gone through periods of feeling isolated or of just wanting to be around adults for a while.  When you work, you take for granted the being within walking distance of another grown up to talk to about your job.  When you stay at home, you have to make an effort to find this kind of interaction.  When my daughter was first born, my lifeline was a friend of mine who had a one year old—she would call me at least once a week just to ask how I was doing and to listen to whatever I wanted to talk about.  I will ALWAYS be grateful to her for that.  Eventually, you learn to find activities where parents bring their children to interact during the day—you go to library story time; you join play groups; you make a lunch date with a friend who will understand when your baby starts fussing; you learn to call friends once in a while just to have contact with someone who knew you before you were “Mommy” (or “Daddy”) all day.  But until you figure this out, you can feel so lonely.  I honestly sometimes didn’t even realize how lonely and isolated I felt until a friend calls me and I realized how glad I was they did! 

There is also the factor that since your family is the central point of your life, sometimes people might get irritated with you for talking about them so much.  I remember telling someone close to me “Well, you talk about your family and your work.  My kids are my work.  Therefore, shouldn’t I get the same time to talk about my kids and parenting as you do about your family and your work combined?”

So, there you have it.  Staying at home with your children is a blessing, but it’s not as easy as those who’ve never done it probably think it is.  However, I definitely think it's worth it for our family.

The Gift of Parenthood

To be honest, I was not sure I wanted to be a mother.  I always hoped to marry some day.  I thought perhaps I would have children, but there were several points in my life where I thought maybe I didn’t want them.  By the time I met my husband, I thought I probably wanted one or two, but even when we were trying for our first, I thought I’d be okay if we didn’t wind up being able to have children.  Of course, now that I have them, I could not imagine life without them.  Funny how that works!

Being a parent has taught me an entirely new way that love manifests itself.  As a child, I always knew my parents loved me a lot.  Even so, I was SO unprepared for how much love I could feel for one little being!  The first time I held each of my children, I was overwhelmed by the love I felt.  Even when they are driving me nuts, I’m astounded by how much I love them.  There are no words to describe how I feel about my children, but all those stories you hear about parents who say they’d jump in front of a train to save their child are NOT exaggerations. 

The best thing about parenting is watching these little creatures who are entirely dependent on you grow and mature and learn to be independent.  Every time my little girl learns something new or every time my baby boy accomplishes a new physical feat, I’m so proud and so amazed at how fast they grow. 

Watching those young personalities develop is truly amazing.  Children see the world through fresh eyes and show us how to appreciate the things we’ve come to take for granted.  Their discoveries become my discoveries.

And you know the saying “kids say the darnedest things”?  Well, it’s so true, there isn’t a week that goes by that there isn’t something my daughter says that just makes me giggle!  I wouldn’t have missed this for the world!

My Doctor the English Professor?

Have you ever gone to a new doctor only to find that s/he reminds you of someone else and that this resemblance is more than mildly distracting?  I’ve had this happen on several occasions. 

I had a gynecologist who reminded me of my sixth grade science teacher.  Thankfully, the resemblance was passing.  Plus, I got pregnant and had to move to an OB, so I no longer and to worry about it. 

But then came the dermatologist quest:  my wonderful dermatologist left her practice to join a practice closer to her home.  I don’t begrudge her this move—nothing wrong with wanting to have more time with your kids, and a long commute makes that hard.  However, I sure do miss her.   So, I had to choose another doctor from her original practice or find another dermatologist.  Since her old practice is close to my daughter’s school, it is in the perfect location.  However, the first replacement doctor I chose looked almost exactly like  a college English professor I had.  On top of that, this doctor had the same type of quirky behavior as my English professor.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I respected and admired that professor.  She was a great mentor.  But having her doppelganger examine my moles was a little too weird.  So, I chose yet another doctor.

When I met the latest doctor, I liked her.  She was a little more like a motherly type.  But she also reminded me a little of my daughter’s art teacher.  The resemblance is not quite as close as the previous doctor and the English professor, but it’s enough to make me wonder if my old dermatologist is still on my health plan—maybe I should go further just to avoid being weirded out.  But, come to think of it, my original doctor does look a little like my friend from elementary school…

Phone Messages for Non-existent (to me) People

Tell me, do you have an answering machine or voicemail that clearly states the name(s) of people using your phone number and still receive messages for persons unknown?  Because we do (especially on our cell phones), and it’s definitely irritating.  I can’t tell you how many times we get messages that say something like “Hi, Blaze.  We’re all going to the X Club tonight.  Hope to see you there!”  Was “Blaze” listed on the answering message?  No?  Then you HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!!!  

Are people too lazy to listen to the message?  Are they driving and distracted and should not be calling anyhow?  Or are they just plain dumb?  What the heck?  I don’t get it.  I mean, if I dial a number, and the message on the other end lists names of people I am NOT calling, then I don’t leave a message, and I try again to see if I misdialed.  If I get the same message, I re-check the number.  How hard is that? 

Baby Talk

Watching children develop language is a fun thing.  It's especially interesting to me to see the way they get their message across before they can truly talk. Ace is still in the preverbal stage of baby babbling, but he does point to get things he wants.  He will point to the food he wants more of, or he will point to his sleep sack when he wants to nap.  If I miss his nap hints, he might bite me wherever he can find skin (I am trying to break that habit).  He also finds other ways to get a message across, as he did last night.  

We usually take him up to bath at 7 or a little earlier if he gets a poopy diaper.  Around 6:30 or so, he went to the place where we keep the wipes and diaper cream and pulled them to the floor.  He ignored them for a few minutes, but eventually he brought the cream to Daddy.  Daddy already had the wipes because Ace had stepped on them, opening the container, and Daddy wanted to close them so they wouldn't dry out.  After another minute or two, he brings me the wipes.  I said, "Thank you" and put them behind me.  He then grabbed the cream from Daddy and brought it to me.  I said,"Do you have a poopy diaper?  I don't smell one."  A few minutes later, he grabs the cream from me and puts it in his dad's face.  Daddy just took it and wondered what was up.  Then, Ace yells, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" and goes to the gate that leads upstairs to his bath.  I said, "Do you want your bath already?"  He ran back to Daddy (who usually gives him his bath) and starts tapping him on the head.  Daddy said, "What would you like?" and I said, "I think he's made that clear, honey.  He said, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaath!'"  Upon this pronouncement, Ace again yells, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" and runs to the gate.  Guess he told us! 

A Trip to the North Pole Experience in Greer, AZ

Recently, my family and I went to The North Pole Experience in Greer, AZ.  We had a wonderful time.  We got a Blitzen package, which included a night’s stay in a private cabin, dinner, and breakfast for our family of four.  Greer is about a five hour drive from the Western side of the Phoenix area, where we live, so we were thankful that it is a very scenic drive, passing through Payson and Showlow.

The Cabin

Our cabin was in Antler Ridge and had two small bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a great room--it was the perfect size for our family of four.  The bedrooms each had a double bed, a small dresser (night stand size with three drawers), and a luggage rack in the closet.  We brought our pack n play for the baby to sleep in.  The great room had a fire place (they provided firewood and newspaper under the porch), a TV with Dishnetwork (Food Network!) and a DVD player, a pull-out sofa, coffee table, end table, and lamp.  The kitchen had a small table (seats four, but there were two additional folding chairs for our use), stove, refrigerator, basic dishes and pots and pans, and dish soap.  In the bathroom they provided soap and TP as a hotel would, but not shampoo, conditioner, facial tissue, or lotion.  We brought our own, so it wasn’t a big deal—I only share so that if readers decide to go, they know what to expect.  Our cabin did have a night light and a child safety gate, but I do not assume this is true of all of the cabins since they are privately owned but run by the rental agency.  Wi Fi was free to renters.  Cell service was pretty much non-existent. 

The only complaints I have about the cabin are that (1) the heaters in the bedrooms were too efficient and (2) the hot water heater was set too high.  If the bedroom heaters were on, they were too hot.  If they were off, we got too cold.  They were baseboard heaters (also used in the great room), so if you have a young child be warned that you will need to be vigilant as the heaters get hot.  Our one-year-old touched them and got upset (but no visible burn), but he kept trying to go after them again.  As for the hot water heater, it had a note on it not to touch it, so I don’t know if someone prior to us ignored the note and ramped it up or if the rental company keeps it set high in the winter (which wouldn’t make sense since it’s a legal liability), but I almost scalded myself in the shower.  I am just glad it wasn’t one of the kids.

Our Evening at the North Pole

After checking in for dinner at the Molly Butler Lodge, we got to sip hot chocolate (or other drinks) around a fire while we waited for everyone to check in and for the dining room to be readied.  The buffet dinner  includes standard fare such as salad and fruit as well as children’s favorites such as macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets and adult fare such as baked pork and prime rib.  The food was all pretty good.  There was pudding and a variety of cakes for dessert.  After dinner, an elf came to get us and we all boarded a trolley bus to the North Pole.  We had an elf driver and an elf guide.  Our guide explained what would happen when we reached the North Pole while working to ramp up our excitement and enthusiasm.  We sang a carol, and when it was time to go through the “portal,” we got to help the elf with the incantation.  We arrived at Santa’s Workshop, and after exiting the trolley and using the secret knock to gain entrance, we entered the toy museum, where Santa displays toys he invented.  These include things such as Lite Brite, Slinky, and the Red Ryder BB Gun from “A Christmas Story.”

The door to Santa's Workshop

After looking around the museum, the two elves who met us at the door got us ready to meet the head elf, Alabaster Snowflake.  He came out and showed us the compass that spins in circles, proving we were at the North Pole.  Then we went into the toy workshop to build toys.  Tink got to help dress a teddy bear, then put together a “Ram Rocket” which she then got to test by shooting the elves (the one rule was no head shots).  When toy-building was done, the kids got to eat sugar cookies with “snowman soup” (hot cocoa).  Then, it was on to “Elf University” where they learn some important rules about being good people.  Next came Santa’s office.  They had the opportunity to draw pictures for Santa or write him a note while asking questions of one of the elves.  The elves all had very good answers to the tricky questions about how Santa does what he does.  After Santa’s office, each family had a turn to go sit with Santa and have their pictures taken—with your own camera so there are no sales pitches. 

Mistletoe the Elf answering questions in Santa's Office

A toy mobile in Santa's Workshop

After photos with Santa, we loaded back up on the trolley.  The elves entertained us while we waited for everyone to get done with Santa.  On the way back to the Molly Butler Lodge, we sang carols.  Once everyone was back at the Lodge, there was an opportunity to listen to Mrs. Claus read stories while coloring.  Our family chose to skip this in order to go back to the cabin to roast marshmallows, especially since Ace was super tired.  At the cabin, we enjoyed a very nice fire after putting Ace to bed, and we all went to bed stuffed with s'mores (we brought the makings and the roasting forks).

Breakfast with Santa

The next morning, there was a breakfast buffet back at the Lodge.  They had just about everything you could think of—omelets, eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, French toast sticks, yogurt, cereal, and pastries.  While Santa waited for people to finish so they would come out to have pictures with him, he walked around talking to everyone to see if they were having a good time.  A couple of the elves came by as well.  Tink was kind of shy with both Santa and the elves, but they persisted and got plenty of smiles out of her.  We took pictures with the elves and Santa before leaving.

All in all, the experience was very fun and worthwhile.  The kids really enjoyed it, and everything seemed magical through their eyes.  The elves and Santa were all good at keeping everyone in the spirit.  Our favorite elves were Sparky (who could do gymnastic flips) and Mistletoe.  The only downer the entire trip came from someone else's rudeness, but you have to expect you might encounter at least one such person in a large group.

Crazy Morning

This morning was a bit crazy, I must say.  It started off normally enough.  Ace woke up as I was getting ready to go downstairs, so I got him up and fed him.  Tink came down to eat and got ready for school.  Since it’s Jimmy’s meeting day, I got the kids in the car to take TInk to school.  All was on schedule.  Then I found out one of the streets I take when going to the school was closed.  Usually they warn you for a whole week ahead of time.  Maybe we didn’t drive that way at all last week?  I thought we did, but it was vacation, and it all blurs together.  The alternate route was, of course, hectic.  It took about four lights to turn left to get back on track. 

When we got to the school, we had a couple of minutes before the five minute bell.  This would have been fine, except for the fact that half the school was waiting to get into the parking lot.  Now, a note here:  Tink is at the school on variance and therefore CANNOT ride a bus as no bus comes to our neighborhood.  The majority of the school can take the bus or walk.  Yet, there were about 20 cars when we got there (and 20 more when we left).  I know it was cold, but still, if I could put Tink on a bus or walk her, I would, even if it meant being in the cold for 10-15 minutes each morning.  So, most of the people who were drastically late had other options, but here we all were. 

When we finally got to the zone where you can drop off students, the five minute bell had rung.  A few kids were still getting out and I knew Tink could make her line before they got to her classroom, so I let her go,  mainly because there was not a single parking space to be had AND there were about 20 cars still waiting to get into the parking lot.  There were also about 10 cars trying to get out, but they couldn’t because they all wanted to turn left on the main street by the school and they weren’t willing to get out a different way and turn around.  I don’t really understand this as everyone was running late, and I would think they’d want to get a move on.  Even if they had all the time in the world, they could see that others were trying to get in so their kids wouldn’t miss a lot of class—couldn’t they have done something different so everyone else could drop off their kids?  The car in front of me chose to go a different route and turn around, and I went a different route back to the freeway.   But most of the cars just stayed there in their traffic jam.  I suspect some of them didn’t get out of the school lot until 20 minutes after school started.

So, after all this craziness, Ace and I get back to our neighborhood, only to see some more craziness.  It was 35 degrees outside, and there were children outside in short sleeves with no jacket.  Where are the parents?  Why are they letting the kids out like that?  One kid looked like he was in eleventh and twelfth grade—I can see where his parents might have let him have his way, though if he was my kid and I let him have his way in this, I’d make sure he understood that if his immunity was lowered and he caught a cold because of it, he would be paying any doctor’s fees or for any medicine he needed once he got sick.  Kids need to understand there are consequences.  But the 9-10 year old is young enough for his parents to be insisting “You will do as I say and wear a jacket until you are inside your school and if anyone tells me you did different, you are in big trouble!”  I hate seeing this because while I don’t know all of the particulars, I see so many examples these days of people who fail to parent their kids.  I don’t know if it is because they are trying to be their kids’ friends or what.  All I know is that I’m my kids’ parent first, and their friend second.  If I have to make them mad at me in order to keep them healthy or safe, then I do it.  So, my kids should be forewarned—they will be wearing jackets when it’s cold out for as long as I have a say in the matter, OR ELSE!!!!